Dealing with disappointment
Steve Clifford 19th November 2006
Dealing with disappointment.
A key challenge facing Christians in the western world at the current time is the issue of disappointment.
How do we deal with it, and how do we deal with it well.
Our kind of churches are particularly vulnerable to disappointment because we pray big prayers, we make big plans, we want to influence people and communities around us, we ask God to intervene. When it seems like our prayers don't get answered we are vulnerable to disappointment.
We are very pleased to be part of a church which takes this kind of risk, but what happens when prayers don't get answered or when prophetic words don't get fulfilled.
A show of hands in the congregation showed that about 75% of us are living today with some measure of disappointment.
Disappointment is part of what we have to live with. People of God have to grapple with this, it's part of life. Not dealing with it well has huge ramifications, it becomes the doorway to unbelief which then becomes a way forward to disfunctional behaviour, loss of faith, walking away from what God has for us.
Disappointment happens
Luke 24 v 13 - 35 (the road to Emmaus). In this passage two disciples are leaving Jerusalem after the events on the cross. Imagine that you are one of those two disciples, how does it feel? Sad, confused, angry, feeling like giving up, a rollercoaster of emotions.
Verse 21 'we had hoped...' We could say we prayed, we had words, prophetic insights...
Verse 26 'didn't you realise' – if the disciples had known the goal and known the scriptures they might not have been so confused. Like a scientist searching for a new medicine knows the goal and knows the background.
Even though we/they don't understand, the faith within us/them wants to push on to understand.
They discovered Jesus in the ordinary, when he broke bread. We look for the great revelations but so often we also discover Jesus in the ordinary.
From this story we see that disappointment happens. Because we hope, we are going to sometimes get disappointed. Steve shared about learning to ski, it takes a while and he found it quite difficult. One starts on the nursery slopes and eventually progresses to the harder slopes which are really difficult but more invigorating. We can spend all our lives in the nursery slopes but we should want to be on the slightly scary slopes where there is a risk of disappointment but there is more to be achieved and its thrilling.
Four keys for dealing with disappointment.
1) Don't ignore it, pretend its not there, wish it away. We need to acknowledge it, face the pain. Sometimes it takes years for dreams to be fulfilled, we can live with disappointment for years in the meantime. Or if difficult circumstances continue for years. We can get disappointed with God, it's OK to say that, he's big enough for us to have strong conversations with him about it.
2) Don't get isolated in our disappointment. People have different reactions, some talk about it and process it, others lock it up inside and try to deal with it ourselves. We are designed for community, for relationship, and it's in that context that stuff can be dealt with. We are not meant to try to deal with these things alone. A good friend draws out another's disappointment, allows them to talk, doesn't rush to a quick prayer. We may need to explore some wrongdoing in our life, the disciples were hoping for the wrong thing, their picture of the Messiah needed to be challenged but Jesus draws out their disappointment first.
3) Guard our hearts, Proverbs 4 'jealously guard your heart, it is the wellspring of life'. It's easy for disappointment to become all consuming, which is understandable as it can sometimes be devastating, like the loss of a child or partner or parent. But we need to resist bitterness in the midst of pain. Bitterness becomes a cancer which damages us. Even in the midst of disappointment there comes a point where we have to look up, look out and see that there's a bigger picture. Reach out in faith, somehow there is an eternity, there is God who is available to us. The eternal one who we choose to trust, there is an age to come were pain will be no more. Jesus explains to the disciples the bigger picture, he reinterprets the circumstances.
4) Allow Jesus to meet us in our disappointment. Jesus was there all the time along the road to Emmaus, we feel we are on our own but he is there with us, his grace is available to us, the Spirit (the counsellor, the comforter) is there for us. Jesus takes us by the hand, we don't understand why something has happened but we recognise that Jesus is with us.
Take a few moments to allow the Holy Spirit to talk to us. If you are in a situation of disappointment ask Jesus to speak to you. | 
